Performing Conversations

Im shy

I apologize after every sly comment I materialize

Only because Im scared it's the wrong thing to say

Im sorry

Interjecting this perfect conversation

That it was a basin of unwanted sensation

Maybe it's because everything I have to say is always slightly idiosyncratic or over dramatic or just plain problematic

Maybe if I step away, no one will notice

Im sorry

Cerebral cognition will become a thunderstorm of frustration over opening a gate no one would enter through

 Discussing this matter will only build a ladder that would never reach a settling conclusion.

I dream that I would stand on a stage and stare back at quiet people who anticipate what I have to say

Only then would I not unconsciously shrink my form to make space for those who preform conversations that are the social normality.

This is starting to sound like complaining 

I'm just here campaigning against my bird cage mouth

Im sorry

I'm anemic in self-confidence with a side effect of lacking competence that makes me feel like I'm dysfunction

That's okay,

they have a pill for that.

The disorganization of all this is metastasizing 

Confining a voice that has a chance to be loud but chooses not to be because

Im shy

I apologize after every sly comment I materialized

Only because I'm scared it's the wrong thing to say

Im sorry.