Oh my gawd!

Person(s) of interest linkedin

with Stash Capital Management...

committed bank fraud,

and if witness to such thievery

stun gun of mine drawed,

which word archaic

or nonstandard past tense of draw,

(I would make exception

if perpetrator knock out broad

asking such out of character

to at the least buy me supper),

and retrieved from her bag of tricks

ranging from physical devices

that steal card information

to malicious software

that targeted online

checking account of mine

feverishly employed (courtesy

sophisticated state of the art

computer hardware and/or soft-ware,

whether solitary lone wolf,

hacker collective or group,

or more specifically a hacktivist collective,

cybercriminal group,

or state-sponsored group (like APT groups),

nevertheless whether culprit acted alone

perhaps to impress geek squad

or maybe punk created for extra credit

accessing their own innovation

or thru the agency of groupthink

pulled off an electronic heist courtesy

when he/she they/them

went blithely cruising along viz -

(short for "videlicet,"

which comes from

the Latin phrase "videre licet,"

meaning "it is permitted to see)"

the information super highway

the figurative bottom line

being intent to inflict shell-shock

with cake-walk ease

pre-meditated or acted out ad-hoc

to withdraw and exhaust account,

no matter impossible mission

fraught with peril he/she hell-bent

to extract every last red cent

personal or quota established among posse

set their sites to undertake

what would rank to them

as an every day event

no matter novelty wore off

after initial initiation

to apply malicious codified

byte size criminal activity

bitta bing bitta bang and expedite

just a routine unauthorized use

of a computer or network

to take property,

obtain property through deceit,

or manipulate digital information

for personal gain or to cause damage

explicit singular dirty deed done dirt cheap

illicit complicity among gang members

earns collective figurative stars and stripes

despite humdrum hitting virtual pay dirt frequent

car - reed out videlicet reputable maverick

or notorious den of thieves

celebration of natural high

compounded by assistance

from storied legend of Molly Hatchet

wreaking invisible havoc

among telecommunications infrastructure,

especially hi-jacking kick as*

payload after breaking

user name and password

or stealthily getting hold

of credit card information

also known as skimming,

the act of using illegal devices

or software to secretly capture financial data

from credit cards, debit cards,

or PINs during legitimate transactions,

and on the sly (and the stoned family)

criminals install physical devices on ATMs,

gas pumps, or POS terminals

to steal card information

from the magnetic stripe,

or use cameras and overlay keypads

to capture PINs

also using malicious software,

known as e-skimmers,

to capture payment details

from online forms, which stolen data

then used to make fake cards

or conduct unauthorized

purchases and withdraw cash,

leading to financial loss

and identity theft for victims.