The Seven Ends to My Lie (In No Particular Order)

“No, I love it. Thanks so much, it’s just what I wanted.”

Ending #1: Next stop – the Goodwill three towns over.

Ending #2: I’ll keep this out for at least a month, then shove it in the attic so technically, when asked, I can say, “Of course I still have your present.”

Ending #3: I’ll act like it’s as valuable and delicate as a Ming vase, which is why I’ll find a safe place to keep it so it can’t be broken, i.e. the back of my lower left kitchen cabinet.

Ending #4: I need to strategically position this close enough to the edge of the front entry table so it will inevitably get knocked off and shattered into a thousand pieces the next time my youngest helps bring in the groceries.

Ending #5: It’ll be stored in the hall closet for easy retrieval so it can be prominently displayed at a moment’s notice anytime you text to say you’re coming over for a visit.

Ending #6: “Oh, my sister borrowed it for her (insert whatever holiday recently passed) party and she hasn’t returned it yet.”

Ending #7: If “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” then one of us needs to make an appointment with an ophthalmologist.