dilemma of ages

i feel . . . ,

i was tossed into

this earth,

no questions,

asked,

just found myself on

planet earth,

given a choice,

i would have,

voted a resounding,

no

don't want any part

of it,

do you?

don't wanna be a part

of,

any of it,

as when biblical Job

said,

"i wish i hadn't been born,"

y'know,

maybe i'm a coward,

so be it

as for the future,

at my death,

my passing,

as they say,

into the next existence

i fall,

yes,

as i was born,

i inherently know,

i will be tossed into

into another existence,

without my will

or choice

i wonder,

why was i born

to be who i am

why

why wasn't i born

to be someone else

i inherently know that

my consciousness

is unique

or is it?

is my dna unique

i know it is scientifically

speaking

or is it?

of the billions on earth

and billions more

who have previously lived

how can i be unique

to GOD?

why was i born

at a specific location

and at a specific spot

on earth?

why me and not someone else?

why my particular set of parents?

i've asked myself

for many years prior

who am i?

where did i come from

where am i going

and why?

tossed into,

a planet earth?

better?

or worse . . .

rather frightful isn't it?

. . . what will it be?

will it be another disappointment?

will it be pleasing

to me?

or will it be an inferno?

. . i searched many religions

and found none,

i found The LORD

he is Truth

he is Love

he is creator of all things

i do not wish

to offend the LORD

because i know that he IS,

i apologize LORD

because i fear,

i respect you

i know you won't destroy

me

for asking,

why the guilt then?

simple questions

maybe answers will never

be given

maybe not for us to know

i wonder . . .

. . . knowing that there is a heaven

and a hell

i simply acquiesce.

submitting to him

and to the truths

truth is real,

despite what pontious pilate asked

of jesus,

"what is truth,"

we all know what a lie is,

we all know truth

even you pontious knew it . . .

i have learned from the bible,

i am helpless

i know

at his mercy

many questions

i expect

will never be answered

this side of glory

i fall into his omnipotence

and omniscience

faith now takes command

i am a vessel

like a piece of terra cotta

was fashioned by him,

the creator

the master,

for what purpose am i to be used?

the purpose is now,

no brainer,

just as any human vessel

fashioned,

used for any purpose

whether good or bad

i am fashioned

for the

LORD'S

purpose

i know this much

therefore,

i submit,

whether good or bad,

in my case,

'cause

i know him,

it is for the good

he has saved me

from the theory

the lie actually,

which i have learned

is but a lie from satan,

our human enemy,

he has saved me

from physical harm

on countless occassions,

he is my friend,

my LORD

and my GOD

whether i understand

myriad questions

swirling around all of us,

or not,

i inherently realize

answers to age old

questions

will not

are not intended

to be answered

by GOD

at this time

down on my knees,

in servitude

and love,

'cause

i have grown to know him

i simply

live

i live for his truth,

his righteousness

and his being

after all

i know that

he is

GOD