Pardon the interruption

I am not paranoid.

Of course, having said that, you now cannot help but think, oh, she must be paranoid, but I am not. I say it only because I know that what I have to tell you will make you think I am, so I needed to let you know up front: I am not.

I do not fear that I am being watched; I know I am.

I do not believe that people are following me. I do not shout at the man across from me on the subway to look elsewhere. I do not run away from shadows or add multiple locks to my door to keep out the boogey man. I do not even presume that someone is trying to harm me.

What I do know, however, is that I am being watched. All day, every day, everywhere.

I first noticed the eyes while I gazed, glassy-eyed and sleepy at the marble floor of the bathroom, seeing faces and animals as I am wont to do while sitting on the toilet in the morning. But that day, unlike most days when the shapes morph constantly, never allowing me to see the same object twice, a pair of eyes, small and Kelly green, slightly different than the hunter and forest greens of my marble, stared unblinkingly back at me. Though I blinked and looked elsewhere, every time I returned my gaze, the eyes were still there.

I shook my head, flushed and got started with my day. I forgot about the eyes until later that morning. I was running on the treadmill and happened to glance out the window. Amongst the leaves of the catalpa tree nearby, was a single, Kelly-green eye that seemed to be smiling at me.

Yes, eyes can smile.

They can also look angry and dangerous, so if I have to be watched, I am rather glad it is by friendly-looking eyes.

Anyway.

I haven't told anyone, for obvious reasons, but I felt compelled to at least write down what I have been seeing, you know, just in case something weird happens to me.

Okay, weirder.

Since that first day, about a week ago, the eye or eyes have been popping up everywhere. I don't know if they were always there and I just started noticing them. I don't know if I am the only one seeing them, but it's not like I can ask anyone, hey, do you see those eyes up there in the Diabetes advertisement? No, not the model, just down to the left. In the corner. No? Okay, no worries.

Yeah, not happening.

Also, I figure, if I am reticent to share, anyone else who is having a similar experience is also thinking, if they tell anyone they'll be put in a padded cell with a custom-fit straitjacket.

So, I'm just watching and counting - I'm up to 64 eye sightings now - and wondering why and why me and why now and what does it mean and will they grow a mouth and start talking to me soon and what will they say and should I talk back or ignore them or will they get mad and grow octopus arms that can squeeze me to death if I don't talk back or if I don't do what they tell me to do if they tell me to do something like buy a knife and perform jigai or a gun and take target practice in the park up the road and uh-oh I can see eyes on the computer screen just to the right of the document where I'm typing and they are blinking and they are looking less friendly than usual and more blood red than Kelly green and oh my god I