Excuse Me, Sir

My Pavlovian response was activated once it registered the teenaged clerk’s up-sale question of, “Will there be anything else, Sir?” Since I had experienced this rote, non-confrontational pleasantry and accompanying misnomer during previous retail interactions, my somewhat passive-aggressive correction of “‘Sir’? Is my father behind me?” was locked and loaded.

However, this time, unlike other encounters, I suppressed the interjection of my rebuttal to this random person’s innocent attempt of pigeonholing me into a respected status that I wasn’t ready or willing to occupy. Restraining the urge to pretend I was not an elder, I politely said, “No, this is all for today.”

And like that, there was no more fight left in me, no more will to hold onto what I use to be. It was a good run, but the charade is over. (I noticed liver spots punctuating my hands while fumbling to remove the credit card from my wallet. When did these appear?) With a sigh, I understood that old is my new normal.

Acceptance is important for making peace. But acceptance requires letting go of the past. And letting go of the past, both the negative and the positive aspects, is difficult. It’s difficult but necessary because without acceptance you can’t deal with the reality of who you’ve become.

So, I’ve stopped thinking of “Sir” as a misnomer. I consider it a badge of honor and utilize the associated benefits to their fullest. Now get off my lawn and turn down that noise you call music.