undeserving

i used to let everything about love

spin me round

spit me out.

used to always think i was no good,

hell i’m probably half the reason you believed it too.

i was always hard on myself,

couldn’t stand the way i looked,

hated that i could never just let loose,

couldn’t find my voice.

it was under all of your delusions of me.

oh all my life, i’ve been sticking up for people who would never know me,

would never even really try to

and i lost myself inside of all of the stupid games played

like my fight to prove myself worth

to someone undeserving of me.

i never wore the white dress

never walked the aisle,

but ever since i was a little girl

i’ve always thought about how badly that could go,

like no one would be able to hear me,

(speak up speak up)

and i would be so nervous that i would most likely do something stupid-

who knows.

but it never happened for me

because i was never enough, never enough.

always staying with the wrong men,

and disappointing the very likely right ones,

i was too stuck in your head.

oh all my life, i’ve been sticking up for people who would never know me,

would never even really try to

and i lost myself inside of all of the stupid games played

like my fight to prove myself worth

to someone undeserving of me.