Can I forfeit

My downward spiral

And embrace

Uncharted territory

Or will my trepidation

Shackle me

To my past

Why

Am I so afraid

Of not being afraid

Where

Do I stand

While the future

Swirls

All around me

And the past

Alternately

Stabs me in the back

And won’t let go

It’s my own life

I live

Yet

Making

My own choices

I feel

As if

I’m stealing

From others

Why

Is this my mentality?

I’ve broken

So many times

I can’t see

The whole

Of who I am

Anymore

I used to pray

Someone

Would find me

Now

All I want

Is to find myself