A Blood-Soaked Dream

I am asleep and in my dream

my nose starts to drip blood

'This is familiar,' I think, 'I know what to do.'

I pinch my nose and tilt my head forward, well-practiced

I am calm, I am unbothered

even as the blood starts to drain down my throat and into my mouth

It begins to clump and clot in my mouth

(uncomfortable, but not unfamiliar)

which opens to let the blood spill out

A steady flow of red, a stream starting to form: I am the font

The people around me start to worry, and then fill with fear

Some come to me, hand on my shoulder, saying words I do not hear

There is a contrast in the warmth of their hand and the wet warmth of blood on my chest

Others try to leave, others point and stare and talk

I do not hear these either, but I know the meaning

This disgust, the distraught, the detestation- it is all rejection

I wake up and my shirt is not blood-soaked

I do not see a path of blood reaching out to others

I go to the bathroom, and find blood-soaked cloth all the same

'This is familiar,' I think, 'I know what to do.'