Color me gone

I was obsessed with color as a kid

I wanted to make as many as possible and see everything

I never really got the idea that some colors are ugly

like yea they can look ugly together or on someone

bland maybe

but by itself

not really ugly

you know how dogs can only see blue and yellow because they have less color receptors?

turns out we’re like that too

some species can see so much more than use

ill never be able to see so much

you know how colorblind people see red and green as grey?

what if im like that?

Red and green, blue and orange

what if they aren’t just brown but really colors I just cant see?

A million colors that can’t even be named

My eyes just won’t let me

so many things are just impossible

Everyone just tells me to try harder

no matter how hard I try I can only see what I can see

id like to tell you that I’m getting better

that I‘ve moved on

that I change dreams

that I’ve accepted reality

that I’ve settled

but its more like

I’m haunted by what can never be