Time to fly.

I have a long list of places to go. If I were to win an all-expenses-paid two-week vacation indecision would shadow my days as I bounced between ideas. Some mornings I would be set on England, go visit my hometown and see the things I saw when I had no appreciation for it. Other afternoons I would be set on whisking my childhood best friend off to the exotic Island of Japan. Other times I would be pressing the button of an online random country generator, landing on somewhere new and different… but not a country I’d necessarily want to visit.

I would not know who to take and where to go. I would spend my evenings, heart set on India or the Caribbeans… or maybe even… no not that OR… no that’s not right. I have no idea where I would go or who I'd take. I'd be followed by anxiety as if being haunted by bad decisions I hadn’t made yet and the desperate fear of choosing the wrong place.

But how can you choose the wrong place for a holiday? It’s not a test with a right or wrong answer. I am sure I would enjoy myself wherever I went; but I would dread looking back with regret, wishing that I had gone somewhere else.

I would look at other people with envy and think, “They would know immediately where to go and who to take, but here I sit, the holiday of a lifetime awaiting me, plagued by indecision and worry like a bad dream that wouldn’t leave your thoughts.”

Who to take, where to go? Maybe, I should just go alone. Maybe, I should sell the tickets. Put the money aside for when the anxiety stopped haunting, and the indecision stopped pestering. Or maybe I could raffle them off to raise money; or spin a globe, placing my finger on the revolving sphere to choose a random destination, eyes closed in anticipation. Where, when, who… where, when, who… where, when who? My mind spinning and spinning from indecision. Nausea clawing at my throat from dread. Anxiety making my heart race and my chest constrict.

I don’t know where I would go or who I’d take, but that’s alright. I’ve never really been the lucky type anyway.