Afterlife

It's rather disconcerting to wake up and realize you are not in your bed, indeed, all signs point to your being dead. You remember going to sleep, maybe. Or were you driving down the highway? Was there an accident? Or perhaps you were in the hospital with pneumonia again? Did you drive off that narrow mountain road while on vacation? Was the tumor not benign? Was the surgery unsuccessful?

All those moments when you cheated death are a tangled mess as you wonder which one did you in.

And as you wonder, you wander.

No fire. That's good, you think. I wasn't that bad. Really, I was quite good, all things considered...but there is also a dearth of clouds and angels singing joyously...so not as good as I thought.

You may be wandering, but you realize you are not walking...or flying or floating or crawling. You may have cognizance of your existence, but you are no longer within that aging body that had begun to fail you more often than not.

Ah yes! You had begun to age...perhaps you died peacefully in your sleep...home in the arms of those you love...or alone. That sounds rather sad and all too true. You remember the acute pain of loss.

As you remember, you become aware of something appearing...a door? A black hole so devoid of light you realize you are in a place of pure light. Indeed, you are an infinitesimal part of the light.

But you are moving towards the door. Towards the darkness that seems to whisper come. And you seem to know that way lies oblivion. And you want to reverse course, stay in the light where you still are, where you still know, and you can remember. But you realize you have no control of anything. The movement is chaotic, perhaps, but ever forward, towards the door that is a hole that leads to...to what? You don't know. You'll never know, you think.

And so, you spend what moments remain remembering the days of your life, that autobiographical movie people say you relive just before you die.

It might be seconds or minutes or hours or days or centuries -- for time does not exist in this place of light.

You are filled with peace as the door draws nigh.

You needn't knock. The door is open.

The movie becomes a swirling kaleidoscope before it all goes black.

But you are not afraid...because you no longer are.