One Sentence Descriptions of Guys I’ve Dated

1. Unemployed treehouse architect and amateur comedian

2. Toothless southern troubadour/roofer with a drug problem

3. Troubled Seattle poet who could drink his weight in Evan Williams

4. Extra large Italian laborer with Tony Soprano aspirations

5. Pint sized pseudo anarchist/lothario with a penchant for spousal abuse

6. Globe-trekking foppish Australian with near crippling ADHD

7. Insecure bike messenger who ghosted me after I saw his micro penis

8. Tax-avoiding Israeli who hated America but really loved her women

9. Towering blond lawyer with a love of the Beach Boys and being creepy

10. Honorable mention: guy who drunkenly peed on my floor, so I sold his Dreamcast for $50 to get some extra beer money