Clouds of my twenties

Some of them are portents of heavy rain - the tears that my twenties have been bringing. The tears that pour from my eyes even the times when I don't have anything to be sad about. Some clouds are tremendous and white, like my dreams. I am frustrated by the thought of them, I am always scared of what will happen if they don't come true. What if I fail, what if I don't make myself proud with my future self? I don't know the answer, I cannot know everything, and that's why I chase those huge white clouds. Some of my clouds hide themselves in the sky to make me see my true self, which I don't seem to appreciate. I have accused and tortured myself, I starved my body, I made myself suffer in ways that no one else did. Yet sometimes, when all worries go away in one glimpse, when all gray clouds disappear, I get to love myself for just a second. Sometimes this glimpse comes with a joke from my friends, or a simple moment I spend with my sibling, or a hug I share with my parents, or the smell of sheets when I get into bed after a long day, or a good grade I don't expect. It comes, takes all gray clouds with it, and leaves.