Just Once

The pessimist is adamant that his glass of pink lemonade is half empty. The optimist counters that the glass is clearly half full. I’m a pacifist who doesn’t want another atomic war in the nuclear family, so I pour the liquid into an empty glass that’s half as small. “There, now the glass is full so there’s no room for argument.”

Geez, can’t we just once have a summer barbecue without all the drama?