Losing control

I’m in here somewhere

where chaos is absent

it’s me, the real me

yet when chaos arrives

i leave, emotions take over me

i don’t like this version of me

it’s like fighting to keep sane

yet things get in my way

I have a good streak.

This is good, I’m doing good

anxiety.

here we go again

I’m fine, it’s the real me

yet when chaos arrives

my mind is like fireworks

and not in the beautiful way

but as a scattered mess of flames

i don’t like this version of me

it’s not you, it’s me

thoughts race each other

drowning one another

leaving no room for me

the real me

i still search and fight

to have a good streak

it hurts to hurt you

when I’m not me

—KD