The realest one

In public,

I am successful and educated.

I know right from wrong,

and I stay away from the things that are not

good

for me and the life I want to live.

My private life, is more complicated.

I struggle,

never knowing if what I am currently doing

and what I plan on doing,

will be enough.

I doubt every move I make,

and I'm anxious all the time.

But my secret life-

the one that no one knows about,

and I fail to acknowledge exists most of the time,

is the one in which I mourn.

Only then can I express the feelings that weigh me down,

burden my soul.

My most real life-

is my secret life.

Even though I desperately wish it weren't.