Born Again

I was in the car

she was in labor

my grandmother

who now has dementia

driving like a racehorse

on too many steroids

my uncle

her brother

said, I thought

for sure

this baby would have

been born

outside the house

in the yard

my mother laughed

she held her belly

tightly

I came out

in a rush of

blood and happenstance

I am thirty-two

sitting next to

my infant self

in the backseat

of a Buick

I woke up

after I saw myself

my bald baby head

coming out

I was

immediately conscious

once again

are dreams always

in the past tense

the fact that

once awake

they are gone

we are left

with the residue

of them

an umbilical cord

tied to the future

a remembrance

while still in utero

born again

a rebirth

but never sure

in which reality

I am my true self

which reality

do I live in now