Broken Child

I wish for childhood. I wish for innocence and games. I wish for oblivion.

There was a time when I wasn't tall enough to smell the alcohol on his breath, wasn't old enough to see the aching in his eyes.

Growing older can be many things. Independence, self exploration, knowledge, but I see too clearly now. When I look into the past I thank God for my naivety.

There can be so much pain in knowledge. I look back and I see his struggle, I see my ignorance. Now I feel it all. Knowledge has poisoned my memories.

I have forgiven him time and time again. Then, I am six years old again cleaning up after his mess. I never want to be a child again. I was scared, I didn't know him.

It's hard to be angry at someone for their pain. He is still a broken child, who never learned how to express, never learned how to stop.

I forgive you.