as if

she looks so perfect

under the lights.

beautiful lovely glowing

my skin is writhing aching itching pining

when I reach up to scratch it it peels away

revealing my too many lies

to them

to me

lies saying I can do this.

.

.

oh. you poor thing.

you actually thought you could.

be like her.

shining inwardly beneath that spotlight

look at you cowering

there on the edge

trying hopelessly to fill the space

the lights burning through you

carve out a silhouette in the shape of a girl

empty hollow shadowed.

wanting

wanting to be her

wanting her

she's so pretty

I'm so.

.

.

clawing scratching fading

stripped of my skin under the lights

my deepest raw bleeding organs

spilling out in front of an audience

flakes of skin drifting off to the floor to reveal a miserable someone

pretending she could be powerful

part of something.

as if.