the first death

when kindness dies- it is never sudden

it may feel like it

when you realize it is absent in a way where you are startled when it comes around

saying goodbye to the dog you've shared your life with for a quarter of your own

that lonely is missing the kindness true agape love brings

kindness dies slowly a bit at a time

as your phone rings less

the mail stops coming

when your children out grow you

each funeral a specific warmth leaves you

and as time goes on the distance between goodbye and cold nostalgia rips apart

youth divides and goes on in a different universe

new experiences become less interesting

with each decade you will lose something about yourself that you once cherished

you will not know it is gone, until it is

the things you saved along the way- those thing that reminded you of kindnesses

go into storage to be someone else's keepsake or trash

if you throw yourself into work, when you slow down

and you will have to

the anxiety of 'still' will become painful

if you throw yourself into religion you'll rebuke fake and false so often you stop interacting

knowing the difference between kind and friendly will separate you

if you bow before God

when kindness dies

you will exist in contrition, and a joy literally based in the promises of death

if you struggle to make your dreams come true

rather than live and be happy along the way

your bitterness in failure will haunt you and you will become somehow feral

escaping domestication is only for youth and should have a time limit

but so long as there is kindness you will push back your time limits and deadlines

and in those cases it catches up to you and kills you faster from within

you will attempt to offer kindness or make it

but the world changes and redefines emotion so often it will be futile

your plans will die

someone will do your life goals better than you

if you are lucky- you will remain void of depression in trade for hope

but if the kindness in your life dies off

hope starves

bitterness gets some people by- but in the times they are without distraction from self

they are the most miserable liars on earth

unable to even recognize kindness

and that is the first death

to survive it

plant seeds, make something better, do- give

even if you have to watch them from afar

or know you have provided an opportunity for something you loved to be rich in kindness

impoverish yourself of anything that could be something somewhere else

when kindness dies out, accept it for sanity

and in an effort to be kind

lie behind smiles

smile around lies

and encourage opportunities

even when you don't care for them not to be your own