bathroom fingers

I absolutely hate it when the bathroom doorknob is wet. In fact, I hate touching anything that's unexpectedly damp. Once after someone else's shower, I picked up the tube of toothpaste and found it soaked with condensation. It was like touching a dead slug.

I always dry my hands very thoroughly after washing them, because I don't like the feeling of lingering dampness. I don't like having to touch things with wet fingers. I take forever at the hand dryers in public washrooms—even the really useless ones, because they work eventually, if you're patient enough.

I always brush off my dishes and utensils with my fingers, before I use them. Sometimes I feel silly doing it. But sometimes I feel crumbs, and then all the satisfaction of validation. If I hadn't brushed it off, those crumbs would be in my food.

In the shower, I imagine I'm washing away all the crusty old thoughts and beliefs I don't need anymore. I tend to hold onto things, once I have them. So I make a point of trying to let go.

It's because I'm so good at avoiding things. I keep everything away from me. So when something gets in, I cling for dear life.