Your Pretty Old Man…

Shakespeare, the bard of old

Your plays and sonnets, over-told

We've heard enough of your lofty prose

It's time to give you a verbal dose

Your fame and praise, we don't abide

For your work, we cannot decide

Is it melodramatic or just plain dull?

Your writing, we find, is quite a lull

Your characters, so full of jest

But in reality, they're all a pest

Hamlet, Macbeth, and Othello too

Their actions, we cannot construe

With every 'thou' and 'thee' you write

Our patience, you continuously spite

Your language, so archaic and high

Only manages to make us sigh

And what about your love stories?

They're filled with heartache and glories

But we can't help but roll our eyes

For they're nothing but thinly disguised lies

Oh Shakespeare, we've had enough

Your writing, we find, is quite tough

To read and understand, such a pain

Why must we all suffer through your reign?

So here's your final curtain call

We don't need your words, big or small

For in our modern world, you don't fit

Shakespeare, it's time for you to quit.