The Four-Legged Bother

Okay. If you must know about my dog, he is annoying. Or she. I'm not sure which.

Anyway, the little light-brown cockapoo hangs out on my couch. When I sit there to write or watch television or talk with friends, the dog sometimes stares at me. It does not move, but just glares at me with shiny marble-like eyes -- until I pick it up with one hand and set it further down the couch, so that it's looking at my wife.

After all, the thing was a birthday gift to my wife from her sister. And as you may have guessed, it does not have a name. The dog, not my sister-in-law. And she (the sister-in-law, not the pet) gave the gift knowing that dogs and I do not get along. I was bitten as a child while playing, drooled on, bitten again as an adult on the way to work, drooled on again, and... Sorry, back to the dog on my couch.

My wife says the little cockapoo can't hurt anyone. It is unable to move or bark or bite because it is only a stuffed toy.

But the dog on my couch is annoying.