Elephant

What was my first toy?

You'll ask a question. I can't answer.

"My memory is pretty bad, but I remember my childhood favorite," I say, nervous you may not like me already.

"Sure, why not?" I can already tell you're annoyed.

Now, what did I do? Did I make this harder for myself? Do I pick the Elephant or the Cat? The Elephant has a story, but I forgot a lot of it. And does the Cat even count as a childhood toy? I got her when I was in high school.

"I had a stuffed toy elephant I always slept with." I look up, finally looking at you.

"Oh really? What was its name?"

I hesitate. I missed it. "Um... I called it Ellie sometimes... and Sugar sometimes..." I say.

"Well, that's... why two names?" you ask. I can't answer.

"I don't know, I was a kid," I say.

"You don't know?" you say. I feel defeated by the simple question already.

"I don't know," I repeat back.

"Oh, okay. Well, mine was a teddy bear I'd always sleep with. I called him Bobo, and I used to take him everywhere I went and always accidentally got him dirty. This one time, I took him out to recess, and my mom was furious when I came home all muddy and had to wash the teddy cause I was crying about how Bobo was all muddy cause he was a white teddy bear." you say. But you don't stop there. You keep talking, and talking, and talking, and talking, and —

I smile, listening. This isn’t so bad.