hobbies // my first poem in a while

there ought to be space for us to enjoy the things we aren’t good at.

painting for pleasure and not for price

baking cookies that taste like dirt and laughing at it all because it was the process

not the outcome that made it so sweet.

i can’t play the piano anymore. when i try my fingers fumble about

like they’ve lost their way and can’t get back but i think it would be nice

to start learning again

even if i never get good and it always feels dissonant

to know that i tried and it was fun and free to make noise.

we let ourselves love even when we’re not good at it

when we hurt and press on the wound so it never scabs how it’s supposed to

and i never say hi anymore because i worry about the silence

but it was the loving that was fun even when the outcome was a mess

crumbled sweetness on the floor and a splattered canvas to show for it

but worth it.

definitely worth it.