This Morning’s Train Thoughts

I feel a thick layer of afterthought crowding my mind space and I want it purged. I crave clarity and singularity of vision but everything is blurry or smudged.

How do I move from this place, from this space I can’t see well enough to tell if I’ve outgrown?

How do I flip questions into answers like a coin from heads to tails? It’s the journey that’s worn me and now I just flail.

My cloak of protection is threadbare. I feel the piercing wind of depression and I want to lie down and let it take me.

One good day or two can’t fix the damage winter had caused to my mental cage.

I dropped the key and it’s too murky to see. I drop to my knees and feel for it but being this low, it’s so much easier to just lie down and sleep til the sun comes out.

I drink away my doubt but the drink fuels the depression and I continue to slide. My descent is faster than my struggle to stay on top can overcome.

I know I’m halfway through but my reserves are spent. I know what to do but I don’t know how to make myself do it.

If this seems like a cry for help, that’s because it is.