Senses

I couldn't tell you what it feels like,

Only how it looks.

It looks like someone disappearing into fog on a busy road,

Not knowing if they'll be hit by a car or whether that's what they want.

It looks almost like seeing skin become transparent, the bleeding heart visible.

I can tell you that it sounds like a lighthouse,

Searching for someone but not making any noise to draw attention.

It looks like the person in school who carried a shell and winds their way through hall

And if the halls got smaller and smaller,

They wouldn't protest -

Two different kinds of trapped, that's what it looks like.

If my eyes weren't my eyes,

I could tell you that it looks like a reflection distorting more every time you look.

Should my ears swap,

I could tell you that it sounds like hearing a heartbeat that isn't wished for,

But I am me,

So I couldn't tell you these things.

I'd struggle to describe what it tastes like without having a tongue transplant,

But I'd take a guess at bitter.

Maybe losing my tongue isn't such a bad idea,

It can't say the right things and sometimes says all the wrong ones.

Keep my hands connected so that I can write,

But disconnect my brain, so what I write isn't filtered by what others may think.

Fuel my pen with blood and allow it to write what I can't quite put into words,

Because some ideas can only be seen

And I closed my eyes a long time ago,

Afraid to open them,

So I can't tell you what it looks like,

Only how it feels

And it feels like filling a swimming pool with memories and diving to the bottom,

Like amputating emotions in an effort to heighten my senses.

I wish I could describe how it feels,

But I'm limited only to how it smells.

It smells like saltwater,

But since I can't put into words how it smells, maybe taste I can do.

It tastes of saltwater and a sour aftertaste,

Missing the sweetness of you.

I couldn't tell you anything as it seems,

So I will write in metaphors and hope that you know what I mean.