‘Normal’

I hate feeling weak. Feeling powerless. Being powerless make me feel anxious.

And when you've been forced onto a restricting position for a long period of time, you can only keep fighting for only so long. And so, forced into submission. Not being treated like a human being becomes normal to you.

Many kids can have fun, go out.

Not me, no. I don't go out. Don't socialize. Don't make friends. I don't do that. I laugh easily, sure. Because the saddest people are the easiest to laugh.

Everyday I grow stranger.

I have a poor confidence.

I don't like my appearance.

Don't like my body.

I sometimes forget to eat.

Sometimes I can't stop binging.

I'm fat.

Ugly.

Too tall.

Smart.

And I treasure my mom like no other, because she is my rock.

Other kids look at me funny because I'm kind of weird.

I'm not weird. I'm just not 'normal'.

And this is my reality.