What’s to Love About a Mountain, Anyway?

Mountains are just inconvenient. They block the rain. They harbor Sasquatches and their big, malodorous, fungal feet. They are of a chemistry altogether unique--sleep under one in a tent and you put on sticky trousers the next day. You can really get too much of a pine scent. Snow, just as it gets dangerous, comes rolling down. Mist above tree lines is just no fun.

They split our country, so that anything loose, rolling in from the West, gets stuck. Under each one is a reminder that our tectonic plates are not our friends. And what mountains do to the Department of Transportation!

Mountains just get in the way. They may love me, but I don't love them. Give me a flat

Earth any time.