Sailing

I know

It's my fault

I never

Wanted you

To see

How hard

It was

For me

I held

My suffering

Like a newborn

Carefully

And away

From the world

But when

We left

The shore

In our

Single parent sailboat

Me

Not even knowing

How to sail

I pointed out

The sunny skies

To distract you

While I fought sharks

I said

Close your eyes

And feel the breeze

While I

Evaded pirates

I said

This is fun

Life is great

When my exhaustion

Threatened

All our lives

You got bigger

And I built

A bigger ship

Learned more

About navigation

And felt proud

Of every storm

We weathered

Then the tsunami hit

And broke apart

All I had built

So we started again

With remnants

And new pieces

But

Older now

You stopped

Closing your eyes

And looking away

And saw

How close

We were

To sinking

And

Scared now

You shouted at me

Pointed out my flaws

Broke down my reserves

And I began

To question

My ability

And the boat

Fell in to disrepair

And when

It started to capsize

I said here

Stand on my head

And I swam to shore

And you ran off

Afraid

For your lives

And I built

A new boat

Smaller now

A boat for two

And your brother

Still closes his eyes

To feel the breeze

And looks

To the sunny sky

While I battle sharks

But I know

Someday

He will just watch

And I'm so afraid

Of what

He will think of me