Here’s a Sucker

Jesus christ! Mortified, shaken but unhurt, I quickly pulled out my no-fault Our State coverage.

I was just about to give a litany of apologies for my failing to stop at the corner as I should, and having caused untold damages to persons and property, when the absurdly clean white suited persona, he/she, rose out from behind the tinted glass of the hybrid Benz and cut me short with a tall look and magnanimous gesture down:

"You're kidding me, right?" Frowning at the puny paper.

"Uh" and I think o.k. maybe we are old school in my small, totaled Pontiac Firebird, "I do have it on my phone too, if you'd rather I email it?"

He/she persists: "Is this is your insurance?"

"Yes. It's maximum coverage," I add proudly.

"You've put your full faith in paper." The mirror glasses bug-eye me.

"Well," I swallow, immediately thinking Almighty dollars. Green back paper, gold somewhere, right... but yeah paper. "And I get a new car replacement," I mean that's what I think I signed up for based on the advertisement, right?

"Ahem," says the authoritative neutral voice, self-righteously and I begin to feel hot and inadequate in coverage, and lose my cool:

"Bible is paper, too."

"The Bible is not The Word of God."

"It isn't?"

"No," with a pause, then adding: "You have home insurance, too?"

"Yes. It's required." I don't know why I answered.

"And life insurance?"

"--uh that's optional."

"Our agent will be calling."

"I'm sorry--wha?!"

He/she extends an arm to leave: "Sour apple? Blue raspberry? Watermelon?

--with Our compliments."

11/02/2023

Rear-Ended Challenge @DrSemicolon