It was only smoke And ashes baby

I timed out in Chattanooga, with an amphetamine high and a sinister look. She looked down and all around until her eyes met mine.

There was a smile on her lips and I watched it turn. Something like disgust or anger or hurt.

I wasn't saving myself this time, I thought.

I thought I was saving her.

"I was there, you know?" I let the sounds of Van Morrison cut out the words. I drifted off and around...to happier times. "In that bathroom stall," she said. I heard her words cut through my veins like a Black Tar Down.

She reached for my hand and I pulled away. Serpentine and smooth.

I moved back...away from the comfort of her touch.

One step.

Two steps

Three steps.

"Run!" I thought...

But...I was frozen. Something in her eyes. Her brown eyes had grown black and bleak.

Maybe it was frustration, maybe it was me?

I dipped my head And tried to leave. Her hand caught my shoulder as I turned away. There was a pleading in her voice. Something gutteral and raw.

I wanted to stop. I wanted to fall into her, I wanted to let her love me. Fading thoughts, I whispered, in a fading mind.

I muttered something as I heard her cry. Like a bullet ricocheting through a brittle skull, hitting brittle bones.

Crack. Crack. Crack.

She called my name, one last time.

I looked back, just once, and saw her lonely and defeated. I shook my head as the elevator dinged.

I heard her door snap shut. It wasn't an angry slam or a dramatic end.

It was just me saving her from myself.