A Brave Neutered World

Woman #1 (dictating into recorder): Specimen is coming to. Specimen’s UGLY but vital signs look good.

Shallowgenepool (sitting up): Where am I?

Woman #2 (Smiling): Welcome to the year 2333!

Woman #1 (dictating): Our initial hypothesis is incorrect. Males CAN communicate in more than grunts and gestures. However, drooling IS present.

Shallowgenepool (dazed): Year 2333? What the fuck!

Woman #1 (annoyed): Hypothesis is incorrect, but specimen’s language is crude.

Woman #2 (speaking slowly): Man-sleep-awake-now. Understand?

Shallowgenepool (annoyed): I understand. Who are you and why am I here?

Woman #1 (dictating): Specimen shows curiosity. Intelligence MIGHT exceed estimates.

Woman #2: You can use words! My name is Dr. Dixon and my colleague is Dr. Knowles and you’re a miracle! The last man alive!

Shallowgenepool (Shocked): LAST MAN ALIVE!

Woman #2 (Smiling): YES! The inferior, male, or NASCAR gene underwent natural deselection centuries ago, but with you we can determine who’s smarter, the human male or inbred chimpanzee!

Woman #1 (muttering): My money’s on the chimp.

Shallowgenepool (now afraid): What?

Woman #1 (smiling): Neutering procedure was successful.

Shallowgenepool: NEUTERING!

Woman #2: Of course! We can’t have another male going around how would a male put it? Fucking things up again?