Billy Jimsonweed and the Magic Icicle

It never melted for starters

the Magic Icicle could talk

it had humors jealousies aversions

deep rending tides of love

and week long fits of giggling

It had been crafted by Father Frost

The Emperor of the North

his breath could wreck a train

and send a picnic scattering

Billy never met the Frost King

who he heard was a ballroom dancer

fast on his feet tipita tapita

the dance finals were approaching

it was Billy's job to suss the opposition

his reports gave the Emperor

a step up on the competition

which was stiff as beaten egg whites

there were the castrati pair

Harley and Davidson

who were fast and supple

and could ignite a rattling fart

10 feet from the judges' candle

and rocket blurringly past them

like the jaguar under a jungle moon

there was Nip and Tuck

Edwardians from the pages of Lord Knackwit

they could anticipate every dip and swirl

and often stood quite still

then there were the Rubber Twins

Bobby Rubber and Loquatia Rubber

gliding ever gliding and then rebounding

in a ricochet ballet of Newtonian elasticity

with a certainty that will pirouette right over

your thin skinned inadequacies

undying in their devotion

to big tits and ropes and pulleys

and an elephant in a china shop agenda

while crickets rubbed their lanterns bright

and the night grew big as the Frog of Creation

hopping and hipping you along

on the dance floor of partial eternity

so loosen up and listen up

it's just that we really must

compare categories more often

actually hold them side by side

hold them up to death the little icon

in the corner of my screen

no way I'm going to click on it

it's going to have to click on me

and here we are at another frozen end

please accept your melting icicle statue

the Emperor's Sno Cone of Attention Award

From "Pageant of Naked Mischief" available on Amazon