I was silent

But my eyes were screaming and my lips cracking

I was so sick

There was no other word to describe it

But I was just ready to give in

To go home

To lie there in the dark and fade into nothingness

But I didn’t even know what nothingness was

My body had been filled for as long as I could remember

My brain filled with thoughts, my eyes filled with tears, my back filled with pain

That it was time to let go

It was time to feel that feeling, to just feel empty for once in my life

My eyelids were heavy and I began to give in

Until I hear the calling of my name

It didn’t exist in the moment but it had in the past

And that was what I couldn’t give up

The hurt was no longer something to resist but something to love

Because that’s what life is

Not pain but love