What can you do when the thing that saved you is now gone?

I've put pen to paper and fingers to keyboard

I have so much to say

I have so much to tell

But I remain unable to speak

not even to lie

much less cry

What can you do,

when you cannot rid myself of darkness

not even by writing

I've put pen to paper

fingers to keyboard but still here I am fighting

Before I could write and it felt like a scream

Like all of my worries and problems were fleeing

But now my words seem dull

they don't rhyme

nor do they reason

There is no structure ,

nor is there hope

for what's trapped in side me

is too much to hold on paper

In the battle of my talent vs my pain

my pain seems to be bigger and braver