I Ain’t Sorry

As a child I imagined I'd grow up to be a woman

Instead I grew up to be apologetic.

A child sorry for eating cookies in my imagination

Absorbing crimes against the world I didn't commit but being a female means I've sinned regardless of my knowing

I've apologized for the past, present and future

For having brown eyes

For being black

For being female

For being apologetic all the damn time

One day I want to grow up properly

Become a women

Unapologetic

Walks through her day with true acquired confidence

Only uttering her words of freedom

"I ain't sorry"

And "You're welcome"

I've only met a few real women in my life

My Mom

My professor

My friend

My enemy

And the ghost of my potential

She haunts me

She stares at me waiting for the day I grow up and allow her to fully possess me

Lift me

Pull me from this well of sorry I've fallen in

Sorry for splashing

Apologies are thicker than water

Immersed neck deep

Swamped

Drifting around

Until I finally grow the fuck up

Until I ain't sorry