feast

when did the i love you’s become empty?

when did your arms around me turn from safety to a prison?

when did i stop recognizing you?

or did you have me tricked? caught me blind-sighted from the beginning

so that i couldn’t see the monster you always were.

why were all your sweet words followed by biting insults?

why was everything my fault when you always threw the first punch?

why was your love always tainted with violence?

why couldn’t you ever love me for free?

you’re the worst kind of sadist;

you only gave love after you caused the worst pain.

breaking me into pieces for you to clean up later

just so you could say you were always there.

maybe you never loved me.

maybe you only loved the power you got from forcing your leash on me.

maybe you were so desperate to feel strong, and you only

fell in love with making me feel small.

do all of your lovers come back to empty beds?

harsh words that leave them with scars the only thing they can feel?

do you put your rose-colored glasses on all of us so we can’t see your red flags?

i’ve taken mine off.

all i see in front of me now is a small boy,

hungry for power.

i refuse to be your feast anymore.