I’m sorry

She was tired

She was broken

She was fearful

She was neurotic

I thought she loved me

I think she really just...needed a friend

At the end of the day...her "love"

Wasn't exactly good for my growth

She was perfectly happy for me to...

Sit on the couch, eating chips

Watch tv until my brain melts

As long as that means I don't leave her

I wish I had a mother whom I trusted

Who I knew...

Truly had my best interests in mind

But she needed me

Just as much

As I needed a mother

Which means...

In the end

We both get nothing

It's a shame...

There's a part of me that misses those...

"dinners with mom."...

But in reality it was suffocating....

A black hole of despair and loneliness

I wish I could help her

I wish I could help us both

I'm sorry mom

I have to go