Friends

And here I am again

with my mirror image

in female form.

I can’t tell her

how everything she does,

everything she says,

writes, thinks, feels

confirms that she’s the one for me,

that our pasts are linked like chains

running through the haze of time,

that when I’m with her,

all of the wrong in my life

feels right.

All the pain and stacked up sorrow,

heartbreak, addiction, suffering;

it all fades into the shining moment of now.

I can’t tell her

how I want her to stop wasting time

with guys who are no good for her

and start being with the one man

who would do anything in his power,

give up anything

to try to make himself perfect

for her.

Who would drive any distance,

climb any mountain,

run any marathon

to be closer to her.

I can’t tell her that.

So I’ll just smile and say hi,

share a firm hug,

and call her friend,

wearing the most painful mask

I’ve ever had to wear,

hoping it’ll hide the tears.