happy now?

Am I happy?

The simple answer is “no”

But I should elaborate

So I guess here I go

Waking up every morning

Hating that I woke up

Isn’t happiness at all

If I ever knew what it was

Contemplating suicide

Keeping it to myself

Because I already said

I don’t need any help

It seems so far away

And I can't help it

Hope is gone, and so am I

I stay in my shell like a shellfish

People care

But I push away the love

I so desperately beg for

Then take what I can like an addict to drugs

I’m scared to vent

I don’t want to be a burden

So nobody gets to know

When I am hurting

Because my problems are my own

Locked myself in this house

I chose alone

So, am I happy?

The simple answer is “no”

Because I hate myself

And that is all that I know