Bittersweet - Is this my BitterEnd?

People never die,

In the name of suicide.

They die from loneliness and sadness

Everyone should know that’s why.

No one knows my heartache,

It lies behind my faked smile.

No one knows the many times,

I have wrapped, broke down and cried.

Loss of sight of who I am,

Pushing loved ones away.

seeking isolation and darkness,

Silently screaming, please stay.

Always a struggle within,

I pretend that I am okay.

As I am thinking up the reasons,

To keep me here today.

Sometimes love is not enough,

When you're sick,

Consumed within emotion.

Thinking others would not understand,

My painted on smile fools them again

For me, my only way out,

logical without a doubt.

So I bury the pain inside,

Then self-induced and hide.

I'd rather the pain destroy me,

But its already consuming my life

My screams are loud yet unheard,

As I Relive my life of violence.

Being scarred inside,

Devours my soul

Thoughts begin to race,

Tears run down my face.

Years of help were never enough,

I'm Haunted by memories...

They're becoming too much.

Men, women deeply broken

I'm defeated and no longer strong.

Hope, for us, is an illusion,

A brainless optimist's solution

our voice with muted sound

Just praying to be heard,

Being free of the pain

I feel deep inside.

I yearn to be happy

Not scared all the time.

A place to call home

A place to call your own,

A love without the scorn

New beginnings, out with the old

Dreams are few and far between

The end seems far more clear

No more hurt, on already tattered scars.

No more pain, no more tears.

Finally; a silence, beyond words

A strange peace found within me,

When I finally decide to die,

Soon the darkness fades too light

The voices haunt, getting louder,

Convincing and harder to fight.

While embracing bad memories in dreams,

Death makes it's way closer for me.

My cries for help, and no-one hears

Consumed in the flames of darkness

I can no longer hide or try to disappear.

And still, nothing has changed.

I am still living with a curse,

When clearly inside my mind

I see a warm inviting hearse.

leads me through a tunnel like maze

As I walk amongst old blood and skulls

In the distance a noose invitingly hangs

Then it all comes to life in the shadows

This journey lies behind my mask

That no-one cared to even see

Til I wipe the smile, take off the mask

Is this fate? Am I real? Or is this yet another dream?

This path of misery

Led me on a journey,

Leaving scars upon my body.

Totally alone without any help

Only re-cutting the wounds on myself.

I Think of the future not last night,

I ask will tomorrow be alright.

Not everything in life is forever,

A voice says take my hand,

We'll get through this together.

Or is it just the drugs kicking in

I will trust, now I'm begging You

To lend me your hand

Before the world gets its way:

Help Save me from being

My bitter end…

Crazontheinside