April 11, 2023 Synthesis

As I sit on my porch, I notice this is the sunniest day we’ve had this year.

The sun hit every leaf I could see

And I could feel the warmth on my skin, also.

It’s moments like this that I feel grateful to be working remotely.

To have the luxury of stepping out my office aka my study room cave and be able to sit on my porch, read a book, play some music, let the kitties out, and call it all a lunch break.

Pretty great. Pretty unlike every other break I had experienced in my past.

I remember my first job working at a pie shop, and a break was sitting in the manager’s room also known as a closet with both a fluorescent over head light and desktop light hue and taking 30. Or better yet when it was warm enough outside to sit in my car and take a breath.

Then there were the days at the pharmacy, where there was no room for a break. No lunch. No dinner. And only a bathroom break if you were quick. The craziest part is all of that was legal. The crazier part was that it took me almost 5 years to move on to greener pastures.

I won’t continue to go into detail on the jobs that followed and the brief breaks that I received, but I can say that at least that the next was better than the former.

And that brings me to today...

Where I work a job decent enough to not rob me of my mind when I get off.

Where I have the ability to sit back on my porch in continuance with the thoughts I had around noon.

Where I can pick up right (or at least close to) where I left off in my story.

Where my fingers aren’t tired enough to write about all these things that happened today.

On the first day the sun was truly out

And I wore a dress

And sandals

And pink nail polish on each toe

And I read bell hooks “all about love”

And every time the wind blew past me

I couldn’t tell if the smell I picked up on

Was my book

Or the bush on my right

Blooming, growing,

Letting me know it was alive again