Under no circumstances should anyone ‘follow’ me.

I'll lead you nowhere, but to certain doom.

However, if you'd like to visit the gloom...

I'd be the best friend to sit in your room.

I try to write fairy-tales, humor, and quirk,

But mostly I write about mire and murk.

Sometimes I'm funny,

but mostly I'm glum,

and my conclusions are mindbogglingly dumb.

But if you like trauma and gore and tears,

then perhaps you should read of my hopes and fears--

sometimes a glimmer of light does shine through,

when I tell about all the ways that I grew.

At times I might write something salty and sweet,

Sometimes erotic, just for a treat.

But truly, most truly, don't follow me,

Because often I write because I'd like to flee.

I'm whiny, impulsive, and terribly kind,

a more contrary crafter you'll never find.

And lastly don't follow because,

I break all the rules of the challenge above.