intimacy never meant touch

i like the way you look at me,

i whispered with a smile

you smiled back

tucked my hair behind my ear and said,

how do i look at you?

oh my dear, my honey,

my darling, my love,

you look at me

like i placed each star in the sky

like i am the sun breaking through darkness

like you’re seeing for the very first time

you look at me

as if i were your favorite song personified

as if i invented beauty

as if it was the last time you’d ever see again

my love, you see me like no one else can.

your eyes both devour me and embrace me

and i feel vulnerable

yet invincible

every time i meet your gaze.

today i cried in front of you

because i realized that i am scared

you made me promise

to tell you if i ever thought

we couldn’t end up together

i promised

but the thought of such a thing

made my heart crack ever so slightly.

i don’t ever wanna feel that way, i said.

you agreed,

and my heart ached

to think of a world without you.

you looked at me with concerned eyes

with a tinge of desperation

talk to me, you said, when i began to cry.

let’s talk about it.

what i really wanted to say

but didn’t, was—

my dear, my darling,

i love you.

it’s like a broken record in my brain

whenever i am with you

i love him. i love him. i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love—

i love you, so very much.

and i want to tell you

but i’m scared to death

you are everything i have ever wanted

and you are everything i have ever needed

and so much more.

thank you for seeing me

knowing me

and loving me

in ways i didn’t even know were possible.

you, my love, my honey,

were most undeniably made

to have poetry written about you

and im hoping it’s only the happy kind this time around.