My Life is Burning to Ash From the Match You Threw in Rage

Let me go

Set me free

No more guilt trips.

No more threats.

I am a woman, and that makes me strong

Let me protect myself

because God only knows,

that you won’t

You tell me it’s Love

but what is love

when you’re throwing your hands up in the air,

dismissing every word,

puncturing your own skin

to punish me

lashing out when I don’t read from the script

can’t you listen to me, just this once?

I gave us a chance

and I was proven wrong

You hurt me

not only that, you broke me down

trapped me,

isolated me

scared the living hell out of me

because when I stayed like you asked

you warned me you’d do the thing I’m most afraid of

and it would be my fault

so I stay and you destruct

then blame it on me

as if I must be punished

for finally opening my eyes

but now I am back

and I regret it so much

it isn’t so easy to run anymore

I let you make me cry harder and harder

as you continued to dig deeper

Keep yelling

Now it’s my turn!

I made promises

early on, when you acted so different,

I let you make me hate myself

because I felt so wrong

The way you twist your words,

you know what you’re doing

You used to make me feel obligated

to withhold our promises

but then I was told

“A coerced promise does not get honored”

and that’s when I opened my eyes

To see

You are a narcissistic abuser

In textbook terms

and you fit the description just so perfectly

it makes me sick

it makes me weak

So won’t you stop!

Sometimes I wish I never loved you

Then I’ll think, I deserve this

but the truth is

no one does

I’m just waiting for the day

I have some strength

to leave you!

You can manipulate me

to get what you want

but how does that make you feel,

knowing I am just a puppet?