The Melancholist

Many would probably dub me a pessimist. My outlook on life is bleak, at best, and most of my joys in life I trivialise as mere glimts of light through an otherwise eternal coat of darkness. 

All traits of the pessimist. But there is one trait of my personality that, in my opinion, defines me as a melancholist, and not a true pessimist. 

Because in spite of this seemingly never-ending cycle of depression, I continue to romanticise all the negative. The broken heart, the loss of a loved one, the loss of lives in a war. All of it so sad, and yet to me so romantic and fulfilling. 

If I was a true pessimist I am sure I would have hung myself by the neck long ago. I cannot imagine a world even darker than my own, where all the sadness does not even have the sweet, romantic afterglow that it does in my own. 

So go ahead world - produce more sadness. Break up, fight, kill each other, drown a child, bomb a country. Just let me know when you do. 

For I wanna take part in your sadness. I wanna feel it, taste it, soak it all up. 

And then I will burrow even deeper into my grave of sadness. 

But that does have a slight romantic sound to it.