Adopted from Heaven

My pain and misery fall from the sky

So hard I try to ignore it, but it still gets by

Surrounded with memories of what could've been

The hatred screams under my skin

Your whispers sting and my chest gets tight

While you dance around in the tobacco night

Your knife sharp teeth have got a hold on me

And my breathing starts to get a little harder

Pulsing through my veins is the anger I feel

Wounds break open as soon as they seal

Darkness surrounds me with every step I take

I manage a smile but inside, I'm dying

And the screaming is so useless

I'm feeling just a little, a little cynical

But you actually mean something to me.

I wish you could see I'm as different inside as I'm the same

I wish you could see that I'm not to blame

I know the truth used to be blocked in your heart

And now that it's out, it's tearing me apart

What do I do? Where can I go from here?

How long am I willing to face my fears?

Do I try and make it alone with nothing to fall back on?

Do I keep searching for answers for some clues of what I seek?

Right now, I'm blowing kisses to the moon, a lovely crescent

It would watch me fade away into permanent rest

I'd leave my wounds behind as your crest

I'd be renowned for weakness and as queer as well

But I'd be remembered fondly for the way that I fell.

Illicit substances and jaded thoughts,

My soul festers and my heart rots

My fire has burned out, my passion died

My friends are shallow and you lied

You're supposed to have the answers

And build me up with cheer

But maybe I'll get better. Maybe I'll change.

Maybe our family won't always be so strange.

I don't know what you expect

Or the things that make you sigh

All I know is that you're my parents

The ones I hope that one day I'll satisfy

Ma, I still miss the time when you gave me your all

But this is my life and I've named it The Fall

Don't you see that you actually mean something to me?

So take a few seconds to think and breathe

Please don't make this harder for me.