insecurities

Insecurities. 

it's a weird word but it defines who a person is sometimes.

try me for example: I got dressed for a party. fat. that's all I think when it happens. my friends. they're the ideal perfection when it comes to sizes. me? I'm not. I feel as if the fat defines me. and it's only because it really does. other say, I'm 

funny. cool. pretty. relaxed. beautiful.

but reply I think of myself as a blob of fat. that's all I'll ever be. I can try as hard as I won't but there's always the one word that will forever describe me. fat. 

I don't see myself as pretty and when people say that, it bothers me greatly. I'm not pretty. I'm fat, and I've come to except it.